There’s no shortage of weird things that happen in unhealthy relationships. Unhealthy relationships are like cupcakes. They can seem magical and wonderful and delicious at first. But if they’re the only thing nourishing you day-in and day-out for years, you’re just going to end up with heart disease. And we all know heart disease is the number one killer of women. It’s serious stuff.
OK, admittedly, that was a pretty lame analogy for an unhealthy relationship, and probably blasphemous to cupcake lovers. But there’s an important truth there. Unhealthy relationships are dangerous because they seem great at first, and you can really enjoy them. You can be in one with someone you really, truly love, and things can look beautiful and sweet from the outside. The unhealthy bits can sneak in so slowly over time that you barely notice them. And the grief of loss and heartbreak is a powerful reason why many people don’t leave situations that aren’t necessarily ideal.
I saw it a million times when I worked with couples as both a Domestic Violence Victim Advocate and Planned Parenthood Certified Responsible Sexuality Educator. So many people thought that since they weren’t getting physically abused, the rest was OK. It’s not OK, and neither are these weird side effects of being in an unhealthy relationship.
1. You Get Clingy
In an unhealthy relationship, your partner can make themselves the sole source of your love, opinions, sense of security, and decisions. In essence, you become dependent. When that person withdrawals or threatens to withdrawal, they’re really threatening to leave you without your usual means of survival, and the normal, human response to that is to get clingy and weird. One of the many reasons it’s essential to keep a sense of identity and independence in a relationship.
